Unfriendable

We spent a year and a half in NYC. When our time came to close, and we were about to move we had one final get together. A few friends showed up. At that moment we had not seen most of those who did arrive in a very long time. What struck me the strongest at the end of this night, was that the friends who came were friends that my husband had previous to my moving there. 

What was wrong with me?

That question was pondered frequently during my time there because I never made any friends on my own in a year and a half. I take that back, I made two. 

I became friends with my husband's friends but does that count?

What was broken inside of me? Was it a vibe I was giving?

When I lived in Florida I made friends everywhere I went and it was easy. Life was easy. The lowest point of my life was probably during my pregnancy when I became too sick to make it to work most days, my husband was unemployed, and I sat in a bedroom 24/7 because we did not have our own place. I lived in a city with 8 million people but none of them wanted to know me or let me know them. I was never more alone.

Now moving to Utica, I've made friends already. Some of which I'm seeing tomorrow, and then more I'm meeting up with next week.

Maybe I'm not broken. Maybe NYC is.